Get Out of my House Said my Dog

Being in quarantine for days is like being in the dog house with the whole family and the dog. And who is complaining? Our dog “Café”

The first sign that something was not normal for Café is the day that instead of getting up at 6 in the morning to feed him we were still in bed by 7

Café was very happy, by 9 in the morning the only thing that left the house was the sun shining thru the bedroom window while we continue to sleep thru the snooze button on the alarm clock.

On the 5th day of our Convalescent stay due to the COVID-19 I caught Café on several occasions talking to the neighbor’s dog, something he never did while we were home in the past.

How are you feeling with all those people in the house? Café asked the neighbor dog.

If I didn’t have any face wrinkles before now I’m full of them, they are constantly squeezing my face.

I know what you mean said Café, I used to like it when they came home and rub my belly, now they think they have to rub my belly all the time.

Have your sleeping arrangements changed?

Changed? I’m only allowed to sleep 8 hours a day , and that is at night, I’m not allowed to sleep between 8 am and 11 pm and as soon as I try to go to sleep I hear the words “Café where are you!”

So what do you do all-day?

I’m getting fat for once, they spend more time in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house and they think I need to get a treat each time they gain a pound, is like they don’t want to get obese on their own and I have to pay the price, if I don’t follow them into the kitchen they think something is wrong and they start calling my name, I used to eat twice a day now I eat all day.

Café? Where are you…. come inside, Did you potty?

Now I have to potty when they think I need to potty, I got to go I’ll talk to you later. Let me wag my tail so they think I went to the bathroom.

It has been 15 days since we started the Stay at Home ordinance, we used to jump out of bed the moment the alarm sounded, now we get up when café decides he is hungry and we need to get up.

We enjoy being able to spend time with Café

They do, but now I have to watch the computer like a human as if I was getting emails

Hi buddy, I haven’t seen you for a couple of days

I know, Look at this picture, now is a haircut weekly

Café, what happened here?

Now I have to make my own bed

So buddy, how are things in your house?

Don’t ask, it’s like living with three lunatics, nobody wants to get up before 8 am and I get punished because I pee in the hallway, in the past they let me out by 7 and 6 pm, but now even 6 pm comes around too late, they forget what time it’s

I used to spend a lot of time on this couch while my parents were gone, now I’m not allowed to jump on it.

You are telling me, I used to start the morning on the living room couch and spend the afternoon in the family room couch, now I spend most of my time upside down on my mother’s arms, I’m 70, you would think they know I’m old.

Café where are you, it’s time to take a bath, honey get café in the shower.

You want me to take a shower? I don’t have to work today or tomorrow

Café may not need a shower but you do

This is my second shower this week, I used to love playing with the water hose but now its torture, you get a little wet and they want to give me a bath

Did you hear about the tiger in the Bronx Zoo? Apparently it contracted Covid 19 so now they think I have to wear a mask but I’m not allowed to go anywhere past the back yard

This is how I like to sleep, but they keep waking me up to get in their bed

And they expect me to eat with a spoon now

I’m tired, this needs to stop, if they are not talking to me they are talking to Alexa and Siri, I’m tired of watching Netflix and the local news. GET BACK TO WORK! All I want is to play with my balls.