About Xavier

Xavier Varela is a world traveler, I have stay in luxury hotels, bed and breakfasts, Airbnb, family homes and everything in between, I travelled by boat, ferry, cruise ship, airlines trains and automobiles. I hitchhike across Europe and Scandinavian, I'm an avid sailor, I love to paint and write.

Todo lo que Necesita son sus Pijamas Para ver un Concierto

¿Cuándo fue la última vez que fuiste a un buen concierto? ¿Recuerdas cuánto pagaste? Los asientos baratos costaban $ 75 y estabas sentado tan lejos y alto, como dijo la mujer del ascensor, “estás más cerca de Jesús” que necesitabas binoculares para ver al artista.

La mayoría de las veces no puedo comprar los buenos asientos, cuando estaba soltero estaba en bancarrota y ahora que estoy casado todo cuesta el doble.

Esta semana un amigo me invito a un concierto para ver a Maná, uno de mis cantantes favoritos. Mi emoción, o falta de ella, era obvia.

Sabía qué esperar; mi preocupación era que no tengo binoculares. Así que me preparé para esta aventura, la hora de inicio de acuerdo con los boletos era a las 8 pm, pensé que teníamos que salir de la casa a las 6:45 para llegar allí a las 7:30, estacionar el auto y caminar hacia la sala de conciertos .

Salí con mi amigo un poco tarde, ya habíamos gastado $ 150 por los dos boletos, una verdadera ganga, salimos de la casa a las 7:15, no pregunte por qué, y estaba de mucha estrés manejando para llegar a tiempo, llegamos con tiempo de sobra pero el primer estacionamiento costaba $ 30, así que manejé otra cuadra y encontré uno por $ 20, pensé que si seguía manejando sería más barato, tenía razón, a cinco cuadras encontré uno por $ 10. Si continuo más lejos, es decir de regreso a casa, habría sido gratis. Estacionamos y comenzamos a caminar hacia el lugar, hacía frío y estaba húmedo, mi chaqueta, un cortavientos, lo único que podía hacer era mantener fuera el viento de mi cuerpo pero ni siquiera soplaba, así que para cuando llegamos al Concierto Tenía frío, me dolían los pies y eran más de las 8 en punto.

Al entrar la señora recibiendo los tiquetes dijo, giren a la izquierda y use el ascensor hasta el 4to piso. Pensé que si el ascensor estaba disponible, todos probablemente ya estaban sentados viendo el concierto. Entramos en el elevador y una agradable señora conducía el elevador, probablemente era un trabajo de sindicato, me preguntó por el piso al que iba, dije, el de arriba, pero no traigo binoculares para ver el concierto, y ella respondió: “pero estás más cerca de Jesús”. No tenía nada que decir, pensé si debería darle una propina o pedirle una bendición. La puerta se abrió y miles de personas a nuestro alrededor acaparaban los mostradores de cerveza y comida para comprar algo, ya eran las ocho y veinte minutos, apresuradamente fuimos a nuestros asientos y las luces estaban encendidas y el área del concierto parece vacía.

Consigamos algo de beber y comer, dijo mi amigo, ya me imaginé las líneas de 20 minutos en los mostradores de comida, estaba seguro de que iba a perder la mitad del concierto, sin embargo, estaba dispuesto a soportar la espera en lugar de escuchar quejas después. Cincuenta dólares después volvimos a nuestros asientos, ya eran las 8:45.

El horario de un concierto para las 8 pm que no comienza hasta las 9 pm solo significa una cosa, no gastaste suficiente dinero. A las nueve en punto ya tenía el bolsillo desfondado de $ 100, había gastado $ 75 para el concierto y $10 de estacionamiento y el concierto no había comenzado, no tenía binoculares y estaba sentado al lado de Jesús, José y María y deseando tener los $185 dólares en mi bolsillo sentado en casa viendo el concierto en mi televisor, como lo iba a ver en el concierto, excepto que podría estar viéndolo en pijama.

Banderas, Texas

All You Need is Your Pajamas to See a Concert

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When was the last time you went to a good concert? Remember how much you paid? The cheap seats were $150 and you were sitting so far and high, like the elevator lady said, “you are closer to Jesus” that you needed binoculars to see the performer.

Most of the time I can’t afford the good seats, when I was single I was broke and now that I’m married everything cost twice as much.

Adriana is all about going to concerts, normally her sidekick is one of her friends who owns couple sets of binoculars so they don’t have to share while they are sitting next to Jesus, however, I was inform this week that she was taking me to see Maná, one of my favorite singers. My excitement, or lack of it, was obvious.

I knew what to expect, my worry was I don’t own any binoculars. So I prepare myself for this adventure, the start time according to the tickets was 8 pm, I figured we needed to leave the house by 6:45 in order to get there by 7:30, park the car and walk to the concert hall.

At this point my wife had spend $150 for both tickets, a real bargain, we left the house at 7:15, don’t ask why, and I was all stressed driving to make it on time, we arrived with time to spare but the first parking lot was $30 so I drove another block and found one for $20, I figured if I keep driving it would get cheaper, I was right, 5 blocks away I found one for $10. If I drove any farther like back home it would have been free. We parked and started walking to the venue, it was cold and damp, my jacket, a wind breaker, the only thing it could do was keep the wind of my body but it was not even blowing, so by the time we arrive at the concert I was cold, my feet hurt and it was past 8 o’clock.

The lady at the gate said take a left and use the elevator to the 4th floor, I figured if the elevator was available everyone is probably already sitting watching the concert. We entered the elevator and a nice lady driving the elevator, it was probably an union job, asked me for the floor I was going to, I said, the top-one but I didn’t bring binoculars to see the concert, and she replied, “but you are closer to Jesus” I didn’t have anything to say, I thought, should I tip her or ask for a blessing. The door open and thousand people around us hog the beer and chili counters to buy some food, it was already twenty minutes passed eight, hurriedly we went to our seats and the lights were on and the concert area seems empty.

Let’s get something to drink and eat my wife said, I already imagine the 20 minutes lines at the food counters, I was certain I was going to miss half of the concert, however, I was willing to endure the wait rather than to hear the complaints later. Fifty dollars later we returned to our seats, it was already 8:45.

A concert schedule for 8 pm that doesn’t start until 9 pm only means one thing, you didn’t spend enough money. By nine o’clock I was already $100 in the hole, Adriana had spend $150, the concert had no started, I didn’t have any binoculars and I was sitting next to Jesus, Jose and Maria and wishing I was hundred dollars richer sitting at home watching the concert on my TV, just like I was at the concert, except I could be watching on my pajamas.

Banderas, Texas

The Point System Between a Man and a Women

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When I first got married, you know, when you are so madly in love you can’t see in front of your eyes, I send my wife one hundred roses, we had just started dating, she was in Colombia, I was here and it was her birthday.

This is where the point system starts. I was very proud of myself, as you may know, most roses your purchase originate from Colombia, therefore, a bouquet purchase from a flower shop in Colombia is very inexpensive, $25 for one hundred roses delivered.

Anyway, getting back to the point system, I received one point for the gesture, now, must guys would have expected to get about fifty points, but the reality is you only get one point.

I know what you are thinking, but believe me, it’s fair, you see, as everyday goes by you are accumulating bad points that you are not even aware you have. Sooner or later you say the wrong thing and your wife throws out the “Remember couple years ago when….. ” you don’t remember but she does, so now you are in the dog house and you just scored 20 bad points, 1 point for what you just said and 19 for all the other things you did bad the last two years you didn’t know. If you had the same retentive memory a woman has you could be scoring points as well, but, you don’t even remember your anniversary, so here is my advice, there are certain dates that can help you score more single points than anything else, so take note, first you have to find out these dates from your wife, that is a big challenge, and once you find them you can’t use them for three years, or she will throw it back at you. So here is my list.

  • Your wedding anniversary
  • The name of your song
  • Where were you on your first kiss
  • What did she tell you after that kiss
  • The color of the dress she wore on your first date
  • And finally what happened on May 11th of last year

I know finding out what happened in May 11th may be more difficult than anything else, you can always pick any date she throws at you and use it in the future, you can quote May 11th, she will tell you that is not correct, but you can claim you confused the date, however, at that time you need to change the conversation into something else, do not let her ask you what date you were thinking off because you will be throwing yourself under the bus trying to quote any date which you don’t really know, but she can quote for the last two years.

If you can get these information and know how to properly use it, I guarantee you will score more points in a year than you have since the beginning of your marriage, keep in mind that not following these directions and trying to use any of this information before the three year term can land you in hot water, not only you will get a lot of bad points but expect to sleep in the couch at least for one night. and the pets, they will be sleeping in your spot.

PS: I don’t know anyone who has successfully accomplish this task, personally, when I finally got all the answers, she change the questions.

This could be your bed

Empacar Para Un Viaje De Una Noche

Le prometí a mi hermana que vendré esta noche y la visitaré. Es un viaje largo, quiero decir que tengo que conducir 50 minutos hasta el otro lado de la ciudad. ¡Que vaina! Olvidé que es viernes a las 5pm, serán hora y quince minutos. ¿Por qué prometo venir los viernes?

Ahora tendré que quedarme porque no quiero conducir de regreso a altas horas de la noche, así que déjame agarrar una pequeña bolsa o mochila y poner todas mis cosas allí, básicamente un cambio completo de ropa, mis Pijamas, cepillo para el cabello y cepillo de dientes.

No estoy planeando quedarme hasta tarde, tengo mucho que hacer mañana, así que planearé escapar temprano, tal vez olvido el desayuno y voy a McDonald’s de camino a casa, si le digo que me quedaré a desayunar, será el ​​mediodía antes de que salga. lo siento hermana.

Me encanta visitar a la familia, pero no estoy loco por pasar la noche, si es todo el fin de semana, no hay problema, pero solo por la noche prefiero despertarme en mi cama listo para hacer lo que sea que realmente no tengo que hacer.

Ok, entonces ve a pasar un tiempo con tu familia, si decides conducir de regreso a casa no me culpes, te dije que no olvides tus Pijamas.

Xavier

Too Late to Wear Orange

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I wash my shirt last night looking forward to continue the celebration today.

This morning I’m tying to decide what to wear, is not going to be orange, Houston had great season but at the end we were in the wrong stadium.

Why we played well when we were in Washington and didn’t do well at home? I think they were partially blinded by the color of orange all over the stadium. It’s like the red light at each intersection, you have to stop, I know is not red but orange has a combination of yellow and red, it’s that moment that says partially swing and don’t.

Now, that I washed my shirt last night and I’m embarrassed to wear it today, I’m going to settle for any other shirt and promised myself not say anything to anybody about the game, I’m sure everyone today will pretend nothing happened. The only orange I’m goig to show is my Home Depot gift card.

Do You Wear Your Team Shirt The Whole Series?

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If you spend $130 on a team shirt for the world series and it drags to 7 games, do you wear it everyday?

i know you thought the series was going to be over yesterday , you were ready to put that shirt in the laundry bag and celebrate the rest of the week. Sorry, it didn’t happen, so what are you going to do tonight?

I’m willing to bet there are plenty of smelly shirts tonight, if you are planning to join the crowds to watch the game, I suggest you pick a place with plenty of ventilation, if the smell of sweaty shirts don’t knock you down, certainty the visual appearance will put you off; shirts no longer properly press with stains of ketchup, mustard and tartar sauce. If you are a guy hoping to score a beautiful girl, forget it, the only thing you are going to pick up tonight is an Uber ride.

I’m not wearing my shirt tonight, it has been too long of a series, I’m ready to celebrate with whoever wins the series and start looking for my team shirt for the superball. If I guess the right teams now, I could get the shirts for half price and since it’s only one game I don’t have to worry if I spill ketchup or mustard.

Dressing Up for your Team

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Today may be the final resting place for the Washington, Nationals. Baseball is what I’m talking about, for some of you that only follow soccer.

If the Houston Astros win the game today they will be the 2019 World Champions

What I don’t understand is how they can be the World Champions if no other country participates in this championship, unless they call it the world championship because few players are actually from this country.

I was looking at the roster for both teams and I found names like, Correa, Altube, Álvarez, Osuna, Toro, Días, Valdez, Martes, Rendon, Parra, Gomes, Barrera and Sanchez. If my memory is correct it takes 9 players to make a team, so we have plenty of outsiders here to make another team , probably a winning team year after year because these coaches seem to rely heavily on these names to make it to the World Series.

I wonder how much I can offer these guys to come and play in my team, if I pay them in Colombian pesos they will be instant millionaires and it won’t break my bank, They will feel right at home, they don’t have to learn another language, or survive on hot dogs and hamburgers, their diet could be full of rice and beans, yucas and plantains; curfew won’t happen before the bars close and instead of Gatorade at the games they can have cerveza fria.

I’m going to throw my offer here so they can start planning to move to team GUACAMOLE for the 2020 championship. As an added bonus they will not be expected to show on time for the games, the fans pay enough money as it’s to see the games and we should make it worthwhile so they are not having to be at the stadium only four hours but they can actually enjoy more than one meal at the stadium.

With all that said, some of you are probably having seizures because you don’t know what to wear for the game tonight, not that you are going to the ballpark, you are probably staying home like many of us but will go out and spend hundreds of dollars on team jerseys you will only wear tonight because you don’t really follow baseball the rest of the year. So do as I do, put a safety orange t-shirt you can purchase at Walmart for seven dollars and call it done. If your wife insist on purchasing a $130 shirt to watch the game, ask her to bring few bottles of wine, few cases of beer, some chips and salsa and order pizza to be delivered around the fifth inning, and when she asked what is all that for, you tell her that you are inviting some friends to come and watch the game with us, then she will say, that is too expensive when there is a chance the Houston Astros won’t win tonight; at that point, you say, yes dear you are correct, why don’t you just buy another t-shirt at Walmart and we can save that money as well.

Xavier with orange t-shirt
In team colors and ready

Nothing to Write About

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There come some days when I have nothing to say

I’m not going to talk about politics, otherwise I’m going to have to climb that wall to get out of the country.

I’m not going to talk about religion, all I know is that there is Mohammad, a Jesus and a Buddha, so whoever you claim to be yours, send my regards and I promise to do whatever I supposed to do to make it to their afterlife.

I’m not going to talk about your kids, you can raise them anyway you want, I don’t care if they have no manners, they shouldn’t if you don’t, I don’t care if they turn alcoholics, is not your fault you only drink on two occasions, when it rains and when it doesn’t.

I’m not going to talk about you, I have enough listening to everyone else talk about you because they have nothing else constructive to embellish this conversation.

I’m not going to talk about me; my ears ring loud every time I leave a room full of acquaintances. Anything I could say will be just hot air because I can’t talk about politics, religion or your kids.

Since I have nothing to say, I say good night.

Sissi feeding Melissa
I leave you with my nieces, they have a lot to say

All Dressed Down and Somewhere to Go

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Because I find myself in just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and thinking I’m going to be late.

Late to work, late to the airport, late for a date, late to the doctor doesn’t count, the doctor is never on time.

For a Colombian I broke the mold, I have to be on time all the time, but Colombians have no sense of time, if you show up to a party five minutes before the advertised time you will be escorted to the living room, offered a glass of water and asked to sit and wait until the host takes a shower, puts make up and eat a snack. Most likely the husband will show up fifteen minutes later and ask if a salesman is sitting in the living room waiting to be greeted.

If you show up 30 minutes late, you will be the first guess and will be expected to help with the music and your wife to give tips to the host on her dress arrangement.

Now, if you are the guess that shows up 45 minutes to an hour late, you are on time, you will be greeted with a warm welcome and a glass of wine.

I have lived in the United States more years that I can count, in fact, must of my life, but the cultural differences still there, perhaps because I had to hear my mother all my life reminding me to dress properly for each occasion. I always wondered why we can recognized Americans everywhere we go, they tell you to blend with the locals when you travel so you don’t become a crime statistic. It should be very easy in the western hemisphere, but you can still pin point the Americans; sneakers, shorts, t-shirts, a baseball cap, chewing gum and always asking questions in English. Now, there are some who do make an effort to blend but fail some common No, Nos…. like talking while chewing food, or worst, blowing your nose while eating at a table.

They don’t dress down or dress up, may be I envy that, it’s the culture of laissez-faire, whatever I have-on I’m wearing. Well OK, I’m heading out the door with this filthy shorts and the same shirt I wore yesterday, I’m just going to take my socks off and put a pair of flip flops, my feet will smell better than the three-day socks.

My Friend Gerald in Chicago

Here is a picture of my friend Gerald, The tourist is the guy in the background who failed to blend with the crowd.

Should I Be Packing For A Funeral?

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I walked into the funeral home and I was wandering what everyone was wearing, some people came with black ties, some came with color ties and some didn’t come.

This question came because my brother asked whether he should wear a black tie or not. Many years ago nobody would show up to a funeral without a suit and a black tie and all the women wearing black dresses. The millenniums have change the rules, at least they are changing the rules since most of them don’t go to funerals yet, but when they do, they continue to show up in blue jeans. If you are not sure what to wear, pack an extra pair of black shoes, a black jacket and a dark tie, if you are a woman , pack a dress and if need too, change in the car, like you do when you are driving.

If you are related in anyway to the deceased, don’t forget a hanker-shift or at least some cleanex, you may think your are a strong person but tears will flow once you see one of your family wearing their last outfit .

In a summary, if you have to go to a funeral and you don’t have the proper clothes, don’t worry, get permission at work to go to the funeral, put on your jeans, invite your friends to join you for a late lunch and don’t show up at the service, they probably won’t miss you, unless it’s your own.

Xavier at a funeral