Rule by Venus the love sign.

What exactly is astrology and your sign? I have always been told that I’m a libra, but I thought it was just a measurement, pound means libra in Spanish, now I find out I’m the balance of the world, have I known that when I was young I would have done something about it, now the whole place is out of whack, there is left and right, marriage and divorce, Netflix and Disney and of course Lyft and Uber.

I was skeptical that the balance of the world was all on my shoulder so I decided to checkout the other signs.

Aries the ram, today Mercury shift into Aquarius, WHAT? you have the fighting spirit, sure… you must be the one creating all this chaos since you want to be the center of attention.

Taurus the bull, ” Mercury zips into Aquarius” Did Mercury shift or zip, how does that work, is Aries messing with the Taurus. It says Taurus relationships tends to be drama free, I call that bull…….

Gemini the twins, the ones that never get bored, they probably already figured out if Mercury was shifting or zipping Aquarius. They are two faced, very loyal yes, but they will let you know if you are doing something they don’t like. Since they are the lover sign they probably were in three way triangle with Mercury and Aquarius.

Cancer the crab. Ruled by the moon, really?…..I thought Nasa was. They are known to be psychic, no wonder, I know a psychic who always wants to tell me who I am, what I think, and don’t think, that is just crap.

Leo the lion. Known to be a leader, they always looking at themselves in the mirror to praise themselves, they are willing to help as long as they made the time for it, no wonder that love triangle with Aquarius didn’t involve a Leo. If this world is going to get any better they need to step into the plate. Next time you look yourself in the mirror, look at your feet you probably put your shoes backwards.

Virgo the virgin, may be until they are 18, so what happens after that? once they can’t live up to their reputation they become your best friends, they can really keep a secret and that is a good thing, I don’t want all those no-so virgins spilling out my secrets.

Libra the diplomat, Libras may want all to get get along, no wonder so much chaos, while talking to one side the other is plotting with someone else, Mercury may not be zipping or shifting towards Aquarius but rather trying to get it on with Leo.

Scorpio the scorpion is probably the one who started all this chaos, the world was probably in great shape before Scorpio gave them his opinion whether they wanted or not and wouldn’t back down from his opinion no matter what Aries, Taurus, Mercury or Aquarius thought.

Sagittarius the archer. This leader was probably in it with Scorpio except that he didn’t care what Scorpio said or did, he was going to tell it like it’s, if half the world didn’t care about his opinion, they were going to hear it anyway.

Capricorn the goat. May be the world is the way it’s because Capricorn wanted that way, they already knew what Scorpio and Sagittarius plans was and they work their magic without anyone knowing.

Aquarius the water, this is where the problem started, not sure why Mercury was involved with Aquarius, all that zipping and shifting has all the sign in turmoil and Aquarius seems to look the other way because it couldn’t zip and shift with Sagittarius.

Pisces the fish, may be if they got involved instead of live and let live we could be in better shape, everyone is asking them for advice, but all Mercury got was to go shift with Aquarius and Taurus was getting Mercury to zip Aquarius. Just dip your head underwater and come back out when someone else figures out this world.

So now that I’m carrying all this responsibilities with no help from my zodiac friends I’m starting to understand why I have to celebrate my birthday once a week, the astrology gurus have not been able to pinpoint what my sign is, so they decided to called me a Libra so I would have to carry the guilt until I can stop the charade, good luck, see you next Wednesday, you are buying the drinks.