Your Bicycle Does All The Work

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My wife Adriana is big into bicycling, she rides every weekend and do a lot of long distance races for charity, like the MS150 or the Bike Around the Bay. These charity races are very long, usually a two day race covering 70 to 90 miles per day.

When she started she had a three hundred dollar bike she purchased from a rider friend who convinced her that it was a lot of fun. Keep in mind that Adriana did like to bicycle before, mainly on mountain roads and she was happy to get into the sport again.

Spending three hundred dollars for a bicycle seems steep to me, I have seen them in Academy for hundred dollars; her friend tells me that she spend eight hundred dollars for that bike when it was new couple years earlier and she was ready to upgrade to a two thousand dollar model; so she was more than happy to sell it for a good price to someone who would enjoy it. I was just wandering why she would spend that kind of money when Academy have them brand new for hundred dollars plus tax. Isn’t a new 2019 model what we call and upgrade?

She started riding Saturdays and sometimes Sundays, by the time she was done each day she was very tire when she came home. That is great work out I always tell her while sitting on the couch watching re-runs of Cheers.

As time went by she started complaining about her shoes, they were not the right shoes for bicycling, they needed to have cleats, I don’t know much about women’s shoes but when I had shoes with cleats I was playing football, I was wondering if she wasn’t bicycling in the weekends but rather playing ball with the boys at soccer field. Not having the right shoes turned into not having the right bicycle, that did make me happy, I figured I could sell her eight hundred dollar bicycle for four hundred, recoup the initial three hundred dollars and use the extra one hundred dollars to buy a brand spanking new bicycle at Academy.

Did I say Academy? I was thinking Walmart, but she was thinking the Bike Barn Bicycle shop. One evening she dragged me to the shop to look at bicycles, I was more than willing to go, I was ready to sell that bike and breakout even. I figured we would do couple stops, the Bike Barn and then Academy and finally I would convinced her that whatever they had at Academy we could get cheaper at Walmart. I could have never been so wrong in so many levels.

The Bike Barn has rows of bicycles of any kind, I didn’t know you couldn’t ride your road bicycle on the dirt; Did something happened during my college years that I missed? When I was younger we got a bicycle for Christmas and we rode that bike on any kind of terrain, in fact I don’t think mine even had gears but I was the fastest rider in my neighborhood. Going back to the shop, I looked all the bikes and I couldn’t find any bicycle under five hundred dollars unless you were looking for your three year old daughter and then you could purchase the Sun’s Lil Kitt’n bicycle for just a few more dollars over one hundred.

I was looking on my GPS for the closest Walmart and was about to dashed out of the store when my wife stopped me to tell me she was waiting for Steve the salesman. Apparently she had already spoken to Steve and had a bicycle in mind. A tall handsome guy came out of the repair area and greeted my wife with such a big smile I could swear I have seen him before in the soccer field. Your bike is ready he said, I was speechless, I looked at my wife, my wife looked at Steve, Steve looked at me and three thousand dollars later we walked out of the store.

While we were in the car I finally could mutter a word out of my mouth and I said, that is not the bicycle I had in mind, and Adriana with a straight face answered, I know, but they will change the pedals tomorrow so I can get the shoes with the cleats.

Multiple Sclerosis ride – Houston to Austin

Packing For The Last Time In Your Life

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This may not be what most people want to read, but, if you are reading it, perhaps it’s for curiosity and not because someone is reading you the last rites.

Sooner or later we all have to go, some will go to heaven, some will go to Hell and some will go and ask for directions. No matter when you have to go it’s important to know what you are going wear for the last time. I have never seen that written in a will but may be you should. I wouldn’t want to end up asking directions wearing corduroy pants and a t-shirt with the slogan, “I’m your sugar daddy, what are you doing tonight” unless you are a sugar daddy and your babes are coming to get the last check.

I noticed on a recent funeral viewing that the person in the casket was wearing a beautiful laced dress with precious jewels, a very well manicured hand with fingers layered in gold and diamond rings and a set of pearl earrings that could make any woman want to steal it in order to walk the red carpet. In a very solemn voice I said to my friend, your mother looks beautiful, I love her dress, and she replied, it was her favorite, she was always borrowing it from my sister, it’s a Valentino. I looked at her sister for a moment as I said, she is getting cremated, right?

Unless is in your will, your family will be picking up your last outfit of your life. Pray before you die you don’t end up with those corduroies

If you happen to be the chosen one to do the picking, make sure when you pick the outfit and the Jewelry you keep in mind that they are going to end up ten feet underground or a dust of golden ashes. Make sure your relatives are not counting on keeping those clothes or any accessories for themselves. Ask before you accessorize. Remember, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”

As for me, I’m not putting it in a will, you can keep all my clothes, “for you are dust and to dust you shall return”

La Petite Marche

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It’s 10 am and I gather with my friends to have le petit déjeuner. Talk about trying to eat breakfast with Twenty two friends from high school, all I hear is words like bonjour, hello, S’il vous plaît madame, and on and on. These are special friends, we graduated from high school in Belgium and we have reunions very often, this time is Montreal, but it has been, Chicago, Miami, Ft Lauderdale, Houston, Cincinnati, Las Vegas, Pioneer in California, Brussels twice, Seattle twice, two cruises, Baltimore, New Orleans and New York city twice, talk about people with no careers and no hope to retire.

Is sunny today, I’m not wearing my long Johns, I left my heavy jacket at the hotel but I’m layered well; heavy vest on top of a pullover on top of a turtleneck on top of a t-shirt. Time to go.

As we leave the restaurant and we stand outside, all I hear is

¡Call an Uber!

All phones come out of the holster, twenty some people needs to get to Mount Royal, it’s the race to grab the first car or station wagon that shows up, whoever is left behind will have to pay for his own Uber, some of us will share….. the ride, not the bill.

“I jump into a car, six of us ride confortable, some conversation starts going in the back, I’m not listening but my ear stands still when I hear Susan say” My boobs can meet my knees” I didn’t ask any questions, I’ll wait to get out… and verify.

Mont Royal is a high hill overlooking the city, tourist flock to this spot to catch a glimpse at the city landscape while they chant words like oh la la. I simply take some pictures and go on my way. My classmates continue to chant oh la la.

Time is running out, before dinner we Must see old Montréal and a display of lights at the Botanical Garden. Old Montreal didn’t seem as old as I thought and the lights didn’t glow, Claude forgot to buy tickets to the sold out show.

We rushed to the Metro station to catch a ride to some Heineken place in St Denis street, I swallow my beer in one gulp, Adriana took two sips and we left in a hurry, we only had one hour to make it back for dinner. Walk… Metro… Walk

Brush my hair… Adriana change clothes…. Put a jacket, walk… Metro…. Walk

Damm, my phone is going dead, is a good thing I have the restaurant ping on my phone.

Honey we are here, no we are not she says, this is the breakfast place, Damm again, so where is the restaurant I said, I only have 2% left on my phone, let me call Claude.

Claude, where is the restaurant…. Hellooo… Where is the restaurant…. it’s at 330 Marie Ann Street…. Hello…. hello… Phone shuts down… Honey did you get that? Yes, 33 Marie Jane Street

Escuse moi mecier, do you know where Mari Jane St is, oh oui 10 streets that way, merci… We start walking. 13 streets later, we back track 3 streets and by a miracle of who knows what we found the restaurant. We entered with a big applause, I was so happy to see my friends, right away I join the Canadian and Latin American wine society, Adriana just wanted to catch up on the wine drinking competition.

40 Degrees Is Not Warm Weather

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I’m glad I brought my long Johns, going from 90 degrees to 40 is an abuse to our fragile body. It should be against the law to travel above the tropic of cancer after September 1st.

I was looking at my suitcase to see if I had the right clothes for this climate; in conclusion after walking several blocks in the cold, my gloves were not warm enough, I wish I had ear muffs and the Metro station was never close enough.

I know if I had been wearing those items I would had felt very warm, but the embarrassment kept me from buying them at the local Walmart, walking down the street there were many people walking in just shirts, some women had no socks and others were wearing skirts.

There is always an easy solution, hail an Uber. I did. I was standing on the road waiting for Mr. Andretti to arrive when the phone Rang, it was speedy Gonzales telling me in French that he was waiting at the corner of such and such street, I didn’t know what street I was on, and as he kept talking I kept answering on my best French that I didn’t know what street I was on but he needed to hurry, my long Johns were starting to feel very short. He did, we hoped on and paid a hefty fee to go around the block.

Montreal fall colors starting to show

On My Way To Montreal

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I’m sitting here in Houston with daily temperatures in the 90s, Montreal daily temperatures are in the 50s. Talk about adding sleeves to my shirts.

We are leaving to Montreal in a few days and we need to pack, since we are going to be there for four days I though I read my own website “Going On A Four Day Weekend” OK, did I miss the whole shaban? My post talks about trips to warm places and nothing about cold weather, I’m a victim of my own doing, now, time to pack and post, but the reality of what to pack will be better known when I get back and tell you what we forgot. In the mean time, I need to start thinking cold; no flip flops or short sleeves, replace sailing gloves for mittens and pants with long johns.

Thanks to my friend Tony, I’m writing this blog, he lives in Cleveland so he must be laughing at me since packing for him is just to throw his everyday clothes in the suitcase and go.

Saturday September 28, I finally lay down my suitcase, it’s not the biggest suitcase I own, I figure a medium size will do. Let’s see what Adriana is going to take. As I mentioned in the past the first things I throw into my suitcase are the tickets, the passports, money, important papers, phone cables, and camera.

OK, I lied, medium suitcase is not going to do it, those big winter coats, sweaters and so on are going to take more room than my normal shorts and t-shirts. I’ll keep you post it tomorrow where I’m.

September 29 – Not a lot of progress today, I started looking for my warm clothes, so far I put in the suitcase a heavy jacket, long johns, a good sweater six pair of socks and nothing else. I wonder if I can get a USB heating blanket I can plug into my phone charger and carry with me.

September 30 – Not sure when it became another day, now I’m behind on my packing, so I’m looking thru my closet to find items that normally I wouldn’t pack, so I found a scarf, a winter hat and some worm gloves. I’m getting somewhere now, now all I need is my regular clothes; shirts, pants, underwear and shoes.

October 1 – In my mind this is the last day to pack, if it’s not in the suitcase is not going. I did notice my dog sitting inside the suitcase, he thinks he is going. At this point, rain or shine, warm or cold, snow or not, we will be in Montreal in couple days, my wife hasn’t pack yet, she keeps saying she has nothing to wear, I keep saying, you are right.

My mother always says, live for today you never know when your time comes, this trip is especial in her honor, I need to live by her words, she is sick right now and if she could speak she wouldn’t allow me to cancel this trip to stay with her.

Mother and I
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While In The Hospital

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As I sit here in a hospital room, no I’m not sick, I watch nurses come and go all day long. They wear blue and green scrubs, some have what it looks like comfortable shoes and other wish they did.

I remember when Adriana worked as a dentist, she used to wear scrubs every day; and then she will come home and change clothes, but some days she was too tire and simply she would stay in her work clothes until bed time.

If you wear scrubs every day how many clothes do you need in your closet?

I was trying to do some calculations, most women have the equivalent of 10 outfits per day for a period of a week, when it comes to shoes it’s not very conclusive, I believe they have a secret compartment in the house most men are not aware where they hide those shoes they purchase the previous years but have not worn yet. With those numbers in hand, if you work on the medical profession you can do some calculations yourself and decide how many outfits you really need daily.

Here is a little bit of help:

  1. Count how many days a week you wear scrubs
  2. Count how many different shoes you wear to work
  3. Take the number of shoes you wear to work, multiply it by the number of days you wear scrubs and divide it by 2.
  4. The results is the number of outfits you should own per day.

Lets analyze the results:

If you work five days a week 9 to 5 you probably wear scrubs because as the cleaning lady it’s required by the hospital, then you probably wear the same shoes all week long, therefore, you should have 2.5 outfits per day including your scrubs. No need to have a secret closet, everyone in the house know how many pairs of shoes you own.

If you are on call 24/7 and you change scrubs twice a day, you start your day with your pumps and end your day with high heels in the way to the ball, you are probably a doctor, therefore, you should own no less than 15 outfits per day and your secret closets should be a walking closet.

If your mayor was mathematics and ended up as a nurse, you probably can do more precise calculations, let me know your results so we can publish them as well.

Kathryn-Wilsons-pump
Kathryn-Wilsons Pump

Emergency to the Hospital

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Sooner or later we have to visit someone at the hospital, it’s more pleasant when the person horizontal in bed it’s an acquaintance and not a relative.

Now, if it’s your relative and you are the caretaker or the closest relative you may have the duty to pack some clothes for this person.

As I contemplate the idea of bringing some clothes for this relative I kept asking myself, why do they need clothes if they spend all the time in a hospital gown?

Should I bring PJs and a change of clothes? I’ll bring both. I would guess it depends if they are in the ICU or the “Check my cholesterol I’m feeling fat wing”

If the person is in the ICU why would you be thinking about bringing clothes? But if you are in the other wing then they even have some suggestions, here is an excerpt from  Memorial Herman Health system, “Personal items, such as toiletries, reading materials and glasses, audio tapes, photos; personal pillow and blanket, if desired” I’m guessing extra clothes is not part of the recommendation, so maybe I’m answering my own question; why do they need clothes when they are in hospital gowns?

I guess I’ll ask the nurse next time.

Since they do supply hospital gowns, once they issue you one, there is no instructions on how to wear it,  do you put it on and tie it in the back so your ass shows all the time? or do you tie it in the front so everything else shows. I guarantee you there is no right way, most of the time you see it tie in the back, but then I went to the doctor and they were going to do a cardiogram so they gave me a gown, so I dwell on the idea of which way to put it on and decided that I rather show my asss, until a beautiful slender twenty five year nurse came in and told me to turn it around, I did while she was waiting….. Next time ask the nurse.

Volcan Poás, Costa Rica

Did you pack for the flood?

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I wonder if people getting prepare for the floods in Houston and Louisiana pack correctly.

If I’m getting water coming thru my front door, at some point I have to say, kids, we may need to evacuate, pack your bags.

Now, there is a difference between pack your bags we are leaving on the station wagon and pack your bags we are going to need a rescue boat.

If you are leaving on the good old trusty Chevy caprice Station wagon, you pack suitcases at head out straight to aunt Betty’s house, but if you are thinking that you are going to need a rescue boat, it is all about what you can put in your backpack.

First, are you still thinking you will be going to aunt Betty’s house instead of a shelter? Then don’t forget your Pj’s, your toothbrush, clean underwear and a present, however, if you are going to a shelter, bring a blindfold, ear plugs, a deck of cards and a pair of clean socks; and call aunt Betty and tell her you couldn’t get the guys in the skiff to drop you in her house but you promise you will bring the kids before Christmas.

PS: Whatever decision you made, wether to visit aunt Betty or the charity shelter, don’t forget your important documents before you pack spare underwear, it’s easier to buy clothes than to remember who is your car insurance to file a claim.

I’m Drowning

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I’m leaving the house this morning and don’t know what to pack.

It has been raining for 24 hours, the streets are flooding and I don’t know what to put on, my tall boots or my short boots.

Reality is I should have stay home, but I didn’t. My wife didn’t have to go to school which meant we both had to be home, so I went out, I put on my short boots and packed in the car the long boots, I assume everyone has two pairs of boots at home right?

I was driving around thinking about what do you pack in a long flight, I need to write about that, I know I always wear very comfortable pants, jeans do not do well on the crotch on long flights.

I never been on a flight where the temperature is above 75° F or 24°C but I see a lot of people in shorts, t’shirts, flip flops and a cuban guayabera. Maybe next time you take a long flight you will think why they give you a blanket, and instead of flaunting your cool t-shirt with the logo “No I AM NOT ON F*!#ING FACEBOOK” wear a shirt and a jacket.

Anyway, so I kept driving around, I hate long flights, I kind of realized that my behind is too flat, too much bone and not enough meat, three hours into a flight my derriere starts hurting so I take the pillow and use it as a cushion. Since I always ask for a window seat, I use the blanket as a pillow and lean against the window.

The rain never stopped, this tropical depression Imelda wants to hang out for a while, you ever wonder why they call it a depression? I guess it’s what you get when you can’t get out of the house on fear that you may flood or the fear that once you got out you can’t get back home.

So, I decided to beat the odds and try to make it home, it was depressing. Thank you Imelda.  I wonder what shoes my wife would have chosen. 

Flash Flood In Houston

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If you live in Houston or surrounding area, we have a lot of rain this week; it means flood streets, flood homes, damage cars and more political promises.

Every election we vote to fix the flood issues in Houston and what I don’t understand is why is coming up on a ballot in November again.

In the meantime, don’t forget to pack your umbrella, may be a pair of boots, and a long rope is not a bad idea.

Stay home if you can, but if you need to venture out stay away from high water or just any passage that looks flooded but not too deep, just because it’s only one foot deep doesn’t mean it can’t carry your car downstream.

Why the long rope? Just in case you are the adventurous one, then you will try to pass a high water area with your super duty 4×4 I can go anywhere and find yourself minutes later climbing out of your truck into the top of the cabin and wishing you listen to me and carry the long rope to help the rescuers get to you.

Be safe today, I’m home wishing I had a 4×4 and be adventurous like you are.