How does Santa Claus gets down the chimney? I was preparing my fireplace for his arrival and I couldn’t figure out how he was going to get in, the opening of my chimney is about 2 feet by 8 feet, not a very large opening, so I went to the mall to take a look at Santa and I believe I was correct, he is not going to get in.

I asked Santa what kind of food he likes and he told me he loves all those cookies and milk and the gingerbread he gets in every house, no wonder I can’t get my arms around him, it’s not the meat he is getting from the misses but the sugar he is getting from the kids, if he’s going to fit through my chimney he is going to have get into some weight loss program and I’m not sure he has enough time to work on a fitness plan before Christmas.

I left the mall slightly depressed, there was no way Santa was ever going to go through my fireplace which means there is no point in leaving any cookies or any milk. As I walk outside the mall I noticed a skinny Santa coming out of a Fiat 500, imagine my surprise since I just left Santa inside the mall 5 minutes earlier, not only Santa travels at the speed of light on a Fiat but he can shed some pounds on the way.