Tag Archives: Covid19

Can’t Wait To go Back To School

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I figured schools need guinea pigs these days, so I figured I can volunteer to see how it’s going to work out. I’ll start with kindergarten, they won’t be wearing a mask, only me, and I’m sure the only questions I’m going to get about the Covid19 is going to be what is my name.

Some schools are having online teaching to kindergarten kids, you tell me how is that going to work, the teacher at home calling Mickey to get back on the screen while mickey is already on the floor playing with his toys, and then there is Ralph, the smart kid, he always has a question or a smart answer; Teacher I have to go to the bathroom….You are going to have to wait…..I can’t wait I have to go….can you wait 10 minutes?…. ok…. Mickey where are you….. I’m here teacher…… I don’t see you Mickey…….Ralph where are you going…. to the bathroom teacher……. Peter, I can’t hear you, can you tell your mommy to turn on the microphone?…… Ralph, Ralph, ok let’s take a 10-minute break and bring your word book.

10 minutes later

Kids, you need to get back on the computer, kids, Ralph, Mickey, Peter…….? Who are you? I’m Amanda Peter’s sister….Where is Peter….. I think he is in the kitchen I just need to log in to Facebook for a minute…..

Ralph this is not lunchtime where is your workbook…..In my bedroom Mr. Valera…..Why didn’t you bring your word book to the computer? My mommy told me not to go to my bedroom.

Back in the classroom

Good morning kids, my name is Mr. Varela, can you say Varela? Not Valera, Varela. As you can see your desks are 6 feet apart so we don’t spread the virus.
Peter: My mommy says that you have to wear a mask
ME:: That is correct
Mickey: Can we see your face?
ME:: Yes, here let me show you what I look like
Ralph: I’m going to tell my Mommy that you took your mask off
ME:: Just for a second so you can see my face
Ralph: My mommy says that you have to wear a mask, I’m going to tell her that you didn’t wear a mask.
ME:: Can I help you? Who are you? I’m Amanda, Peter’s sister, mom told me to bring Peter home because school is not completely prepared for Covid19
ME:: Ok kids we are going to have recess in a few minutes, remember you have to stay apart by 6 feet, no sharing toys, no touching or playing together, if you feel sick you need to let me know right away, does everyone understand?
Ralph: Mr. Valera, I’m feeling sick
ME:: What is wrong with you Ralph?
Ralph: My tummy hurts
ME:: Just sit there and be quiet
ME:: We are going to recess, please keep your distance, Mickey that is not 6 feet
Mickey: Teacher, how many feet are six feet?
ME:: You stand right here and Yolanda there, that is six feet
Yolanda: Mr. Varela, Ralph is touching me
ME: Ralph, you need to be six feet behind Yolanda
Ralph: Teacher I counted 6 feet

ME:: Today we are going to the lunchroom 30 minutes earlier so there is not a lot of kids there and you need to keep your distance. Not sharing your lunches, no touching each other, when you are done eating you need to stay in your seat.
Yolanda: My mom says that we are going to die if we get cover with 19
ME: No one is going to die, does everyone knows what a pandemic means?
Ralph: I do I do…. When all the people have to stay home because they can’t work
ME: Mickey, do you know?
Mickey: My daddy says that it’s ball shots
ME: There is no such thing is getting cover with 19 and Mickey please tell your daddy that it’s not ball shots. Your homework for tomorrow is to tell me why we have to wear a mask and stay 6 feet apart. Did everybody get it?
Ralph: Yes teacher, but Yolanda’s feet are bigger than mine.
ME: Yes Ralph but you have a bigger mouth.

Photo by Umut Kemal

My Mask Doesn’t Match my Shoes

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Planning to get out of the house has one problem, what masks I’m going to wear and do I have enough masks to wear with all my clothes

Fashionable masks will become the norm this year, do I wear blue, red, or pink. it’s a dilemma most women will start to face in the coming weeks, men will just put a sock over their face and call it even.

i can already see the fashionistas thinking about their mask choice, it’s no longer plain colors, I expect to see many choices, rainbow, polka-dots, stripes, high cut, low cut, cover one ear, cover both ears, or the most popular, the zipper one, you can unzip to talk and if your husband is the one wearing the zipper-one you can tell him to zip it and mean it.

I know there is a shortage of masks, I can tell because my doctor is wearing painter’s masks, his nurse has a bandana over her mouth and his secretary, the beautiful blond got a message from the doctor that today they all needed to wear a mask so she showed up with the mask of Zorro.

I have been wearing a buff, I’m not sure when the buff became popular and not sure the word is even in the Oxford English dictionary. Is it going to protect me from the virus? probably not but I look cool.

Hanging on the kitchen too long

Yesterday I saw a new inovation, a mask with a clasp on the back, that is a new one, you have the straps over the ears but you also have a strap through the back of the neck with a clasp.

I love the mask, I can go incognito all day long, if most of the time I don’t want to be recognized, now I can walk around without any worries, especially if I’m in happy hour and don’t want my wife to find me if she is looking for me. However, it has created a little problem, I have to carry ten different masks plus one, the plus one I use when I get home, so she thinks that is the one I wear all the time the other ten when I’m out at the bars, with my friends or getting in trouble somewhere.

I have been thinking a lot about these masks and wanted to come with my own creations, I noticed some people with foggy glasses because the respiration, my advice, hold your breath. Since we are trying to avoid someone breathing their virus into us, I’m going to connect a battery-operated fan into my mask so it’s blowing all the time any potential viruses coming my way. I’m going to create a mask with a digital sign, as I press a button the light will flash “You ‘re in my space poker face” Now if the person is someone I would like in my space then I press another button and the sign will flash “Covid-tested would love to get molested”

it will be the fashion of this year, if you have not found your personalize mask yet, just wait, it will be like t-shirts with printed words, try these ones I came up with, “anyone caught in here checks my tonsils” or “get closer and let me check your virus” but the one I would like is “Get closer I want to read your lips”

GET CLOSER I WANT TO READ YOUR LIPS
IS THAT A BIG NOSE OR YOU ARE HAPPY TO SEE ME