What are most people doing these days at home? I can’t speak for all the men, they are probably avoiding all the chores their wives are asking them to do, but the women are drinking away the wine bottles by the dozen.

When I was growing up we had two types of wine; red, and white. If we ate meat for dinner we had red and white if we had fish or chicken. There were no other options, if you ate Sushi you probably lived in Japan anyway and you had sake.

I don’t know when Rosé became an item, exactly what is Rosé? To me, it’s just the leftover of a great red wine mix with the leftovers of some cheapo white left after a tea party of a dozen women with no other thing to do but to drink the rest of the bottles at home while trying to forgive all their husbands who didn’t have the decency to go to the supermarket to get more wine.

I love the Bordeaux’s and the Beaujolais, I have never been much of a white wine drinker but for some reason, I always like German Riesling, perhaps because it has a sweet taste.

Can you tell me why women like wine so much? I never met a woman that didn’t like wine but there is plenty that doesn’t like beer. I’m not much of a beer drinker, I don’t know why since I moved back from Europe beer doesn’t taste the same, I had to give up beer for rum. I don’t drink much wine these days but since the
covic19 started, the wine section looks like the toilet paper section, the only difference is that the wine section has a line and the toilet paper doesn’t.

Have you noticed that the supermarkets have a sommelier in the wine section? I don’t know what his hours are but I’m willing to bet it’s on Saturday afternoon, I know that because my wife seems to disappear with the excuse she is going to run for an hour and on Sundays, we have more bottles of wine than normal.

Can you get me a bottle of wine? I hear this often from my wife when I happen to be grocery shopping, now I’m not a wine connoisseur anymore, I leave that classification to her, after all, she is the one who drinks it every day, however, as I peek in the wine section I find myself trying to pick a cheap bottle of wine she has never tasted before that cost me less than ten bucks.

If you drink a lot of red wine you can’t ignore one problem, the stain teeth. If you get stopped for speeding keep your mouth shut, accept the ticket and get on the way, if the officer asks you where are you going just mutter the word “home” only. If he asks you where are you coming from mutter the words “my mother’s” If you say something like the hospital or a party you only encouraging the officer to ask more questions unlit you will open your mouth wide enough to get the question “Have you been drinking?”

I know wine doesn’t really get you drunk it only gets you talking louder, faster and brings out your knowledge of other languages. But an officer of the law doesn’t have patience or time to listen to your story of why your friends insistent on opening another case of cabernet.

If one thing has changed over the years is the wine names and packaging, and one day someone came out with wine in a box, aged probably overnight and package in the same line as your orange juice.

And what about the names? The names used to be sophisticated like Cuveé La Tour or Chateau St. Michelle, Having a glass of wine for dinner was an enjoyment, proper glassware was always at the table and then someone changed the rules and the names, I’m surprised to be invited for dinner at a friends house and the wine glasses can be any kind of glass regardless of the choice of wine.

Now I see why wine drove me over the edge to rum, some Fat Bastard and a Sassy Bitch full of Frog’s Piss and Cat’s Pee was served at my table when I complain to the waiter about the choice of wine he asked me about the Big Ass Cab, and Naked on Roller Skates, now, I have known Cabrina for several years and I have seen her naked and didn’t think her ass was that big, but never mind, what about the wine? How about a Menage a Trois and Therapy he said, Rum and Coke I said you are not my type.