MY anatomy teacher told me our body is composed of 60% water, that is hard to believe, I should be walking like a noodle.
Seems like every time I drink something fifteen minutes later I have to go to the bathroom. I’m not big into drinking water, in fact you probably not going to see me drinking water unless we are in a desert and we come across the last oasis for hundred miles, then I may pour some of that water in my whiskey flask and call it a day.
The fact that we have to urinate after we drink liquids makes me question the theory that we are composed mainly of water, It doesn’t add up. First of all I’m a Coca-Cola drinker and everyone tells me that is not good for me and I should be drinking water, and since I don’t drink water I should be peeing all that coke, but when I go to the bathroom is doesn’t come out dark it comes out clear, so I figure my body is retaining the coke and disposing of the water.
I’m peeing almost as much as I drink, and if I drink beer I pee more than I drink, you know what they say when you drink beer, once you open the tab you can’t stop going to the bathroom, and that is so true, you drink three beers and you pee four, since I weight about 175 lbs, I made some calculations and came out that my body contains about 42 liters of water.
So, a beer bottle contains 0.355 liters, in new years I drank about 20 beers, or 7.1 liters, it will take about 6 new years parties to drain my body or 7 days if I was a freshman in college. These are scary facts, but it does make a lot of sense now.
As the new year came and went, some of my friends were more drunk than others, the line to the bathrooms was endless and while we played with fireworks on the streets, I noticed a lot of friends skipping the bathroom line and opting to water the neighbors bushes. Our friend Bernadette could barely stand and Jack the neighbor kept insisting to play another round of beer pong. At 2 am on the new year, Bernadette was sitting on the curb and everyone kept telling her to drink more water.
Happy new year! you could still hear people shouting on the streets, Bernadette had completed drinking about 3 litters of water while she continue to get in line to the bathroom, she was not getting any better despite all the water, her second language or lack of, became her primary speech, I already noticed her walking like a noodle and I knew sooner than later she will be horizontal on the floor.
It’s a fact, as we drain more of the water in our body, the more we walk like a noodle and sooner or later without any water we crumble and end in a horizontal position. Bernadette is a prime example. Hours later we bounced back, barely, the water content is at it’s lowest levels, about 30% , our eyes can’t barely focus, every door knob and every wall becomes walking crutches, the first language start to reappear but with limited vocabulary, usually just a few words like ” I can’t remember”, “where my shoes”, “who are you”, “can I have some water”
What happens with 40% water content
If you make it pass your freshmen year, you start to manage better your drinking habits, first, you are a better player at beer pong and therefore, your life span increases as you win more games, second, you don’t party seven days a week and gives you a chance to celebrate more new years, and third, as you grow older the water content increases, and you can hold you pee for longer periods of time until one day you can’t no longer hold it, you drain all your body, you start walking like a noodle again and sooner or later you crumble back to a horizontal position for the last time.
