Do you drive like a man?

Just because we always complain about women drivers it doesn’t mean men are any better drivers.

I believe the size of a man’s automobile is proportional to the size of their ego, I know this may be controversial as I know a lot of people with big trucks but small egos, however, I live in Texas and everyone drives a truck so the question is whether the size of your truck is as big as your ego.

Have you seen and heard those cars with a muffler so loud you can’t hear yourself think? It’s usually a 1995 Toyota Corolla moving at 20 MPH with the windows open because the AC doesn’t work. Can you explain that to me? The driver thinks he is so cool he is going to pick up any female that looks his way, the fact is he is only going to pick up some dirt from the stuff blowing from his muffler and while he moves between lanes he is the one holding up the traffic.

And what about road rage? It’s very popular these days. It’s very simple, a man with a little 1979 Nissan drives as fast as his pick-up truck lets him, usually around 60 mph in a 55mph road, the guy behind him driving an F-450 is looking over the cabin of the Nissan and trying to go over the little guy at 63 mph, so the little guy gets mad because the 450 behind him is almost on top of his camper, so he slams on the brakes and the big guy who is drinking his Starbucks Moka now is wearing the concoction on his shirt and he gets mad, he drives on top of the Nissan gets in front of him and slams his brakes, this is where road rage begins, now the little guy gets on the right side, gets align with the macho man, flips him off and shows him a machete, while the big guy pulls a 38 and shoots the little guy. So the moral of the story is: If you are going to drive like a man in a little truck don’t show your machete unless you can back it off with a Magnum 57.

And men believe because they drive a truck they have the right of way. They usually weave between the lanes without using turn signals trying to get ahead and five minutes later you catch them up in your Toyota Corolla. As you look the truck over waiting for the light, the macho man behind the wheel flips a cigarette outside the window and peels off as if he is driving a Ferrari just to find himself next to a Ferrari at the next light.

It’s a jungle out there they say, men with big cars and big egos and women with small cars and bad habits.

Guys are so obsessed with their cars they put speakers that fill the whole trunk, when they go to the airport they have to call an uber because they don’t have room where to put their luggage, and when they turn their radio on it’s so loud you hear them coming blocks away, I don’t believe they can actually hear any music inside their car but they believe they are very cool.

And then there is the add-on spoiler, it looks ridiculous. Do you actually believe that adding a spoiler to your car will make it run faster? Just because you press the accelerator to the floor doesn’t mean the car is going to hit 60 mph in 3.5 seconds but in your mind, your Nisan Sentra is now a Porsche Carrera.

If you are going to complain about women drivers, drop your ego two notches, get a station wagon and see if you still feel like the king of the road.