Tuxedo, short dress, sneakers, high heels, clown suit, red suit, parachute pants, hoodies, flannel, ties, no ties, press shirts, wrinkle polo shirts, dresses with a slit so high I can see the belly button, dresses with so low cuts I can see the belly button, just bras no shirt and shirt no bra. No reading glasses but plenty of sunglasses.
Las Vegas has it all for the Grammys, but then again it’s Las Vegas, I started desperate to find what to wear for this occasion, should I wear my tuxedo? No, I’m not getting a Grammy so I’ll look out of place. Should I put a tie? No, it’s for musical awards, who is going to wear a tie. May be just my jeans and a t-shirt, no, they probably won’t let me in. I know this moments of desperation when you get an invitation to the Grammys and you need to find out what to wear, you probably all being there; your heart starts beating faster, you can’t hardly speak and you don’t know what to tell your wife since the invitation doesn’t say you and a guest.
That is the time to throw the; Remember when you went to see your aunt Ruthy and the seven kids and I didn’t go? The response you are going to get is probably not what you expect, you may try to guess what your wife is going to say, but from experience I can tell you that when I knew all the answers, they changed the questions. You must remain calm and think clearly what you are going to answer regardless what your wife says, if you can block your ears, concentrate and what your answer is going to be and ignore everything you are hearing is going to be to your advantage.
I waited patiently for my wife to return from grocery shopping, I rehearsed my lines well, no matter what she was going to tell me my answer was going to be clear and to the point; “Honey, I already call the promoter that send me the invitation and asked him if I could take you to the Grammys and he told me that the numbers were very limited and since I was a friend of the Grammy Foundation they could offer me one ticket but, if you prefer I can stay home and I can introduced you to John and foundation group and you can go with them”
As soon as my wife arrived I couldn’t wait to tell her the news, the first words out of my mouth were, honey, I don’t know what to wear! I got an invitation to the Grammys! She immediately replied, I’m so excited, I’m going to wear the black dress I got on sale last year during black friday and you ask me why I was buying a dress just because it was on sale and I told you it was a real bargain and it was 50% off and there was only one left, remember? Yes, I think I remember, but the thing is……she interrupted, “and I can wear the black shoes with the gold laces I told you I bought in Macy’s during the president’s day shopping marathon, remember? I totally lost my concentration, the point was about what I was going to wear, I inhale deeply, I pause, inhale again, my wife continue to murmur something about her jewelry and finally I said, honey I only have one ticket, I exhaled. Without any hesitation from my wife all I could hear her saying was, don’t worry I’ll take a lot of pictures.
I exhale more than I could inhale, all the speech preparations for this moment became completely out of content, it didn’t matter I received a ticket to the Grammys, somehow I knew that it was her going to the Grammys. The moment of panic turned into a cold sweat, forget it all, I turned around, stretch my feet, I was in total silence and then I make another sudden turned and I hit myself really hard, my wife jump, my back hurt and suddenly the lights came on and I was flat on the floor, wake up my wife said, I open my eyes and inhale deeply, in and instant I smiled and realized I was not going and my wife was not going to the Grammys either.
