I get up in the morning, I take a shower, I dress up and throw my dirty socks in the hamper. Once a week my wife takes the dirty clothes to the laundry room, wash them and returns them to the closet.

This morning I’m going to put-on one of my favorite socks and can only find one. Now, I’m asking myself, how difficult is it to grab the clothes out of the hamper, keep in mind there is only two people in this house, and put them in the washing machine? I’m sure it’s a very simple job. Then, how difficult is it to move them from the washing machine to the dryer without losing any socks?

I decided I was going to find all the missing sock once and for all, I know all of you are waiting to find out where do they go. First, I’m going to start with basics, follow the sock trail, after my wife picked the clothes from the hamper I started looking behind the hamper, nothing, just a dead Roach, a machine manual and my missing phone charger I lost last week and I have to purchase a new one for forty dollars at the local mall store, or better, I just got ripped-off store. Since I didn’t find anything I moved on to the washing machine, was there a secret compartment in the machine I was not aware that I failed to read about in the manual which I didn’t really read when I install the machine?

I looked inside, outside, behind and under the washing machine hoping to find some missing socks, for a moment there was hope, I found under the machine a pair of undies so big I believe they belong to grandma, ……wait, …..grandma was only 90 pounds and she has never been in this house, I’m not going to ask who the owner is, I may end up trying to explain whose pair of undies they belong to.

I study the washing machine for a moment, it pours water and then it drains the water thru these tiny holes, is it possible the socks are getting vacuum thru those holes? After all, when you put your clothes in the machine, it fills the machine, but when you are ready to take them out, they only fill have the machine, uhmm… I may need to read the manual.

I decided to move on to the dryer, I pull the dryer out, I look all over the place and found this huge hose going from the dryer to the wall and to the outside, aha! I pulled the hose out and reached inside to see if I could find some missing socks, there was nothing there, so I walk outside to the exit point of the house and guess what, there was one wet sock sitting close by, I screamed alleluia! my wife runs outside to see what is the commotion followed by Skipper the Dog.

I know where the socks go, I said, while skipper looked at me not knowing what was going on; what are you talking about she asked, the socks!…..I found out where the socks go!….. She looked at me in disbelief, is that what you’ve been doing the last two hours instead of cleaning the yard? I pause for a moment while Skipper took off and started digging another hole in the yard, can you stop him from digging all those holes? Skipper!… stop that, I yelled, I walked towards him while he took off, right by my feet he had dig a foot-deep hole and inside I found, guess what, ……not my missing sock, another pair of undies.

My wife walked back to the house while I covered the hole with my feet, I have found in the last two hours two pairs of undies I was not willing to try to explain. I decided to focus on the yard and forget the missing socks, the yard was full of spots where Skipper has been digging holes, I simply shuffle my feet in all the spots as to not disturb too much the dirt and then I noticed Mrs. Flanagan, looking over the fence, hi Mrs. F, how are you today, no answer.

I hate that fat lady who is always spying and doesn’t like our beloved dog.